Creating a "Backtalk-Free" Home


Step 1. The first step is to recognize the backtalk. Here's the best test: If it hurts you, embarrasses you, annoys you, or leaves you feeing helpless, its backtalk.
Step 2. The second step is to choose the right consequences for the behavior. You should do this ahead of time. Any backtalk or rude behavior means that the child will not do what he or she wants or has planned to do - such as go to soccer practice or a friend's house.
Step 3. The third step is to enact the consequence. Tell the child they cannot participate in the planned (sports. dance lessons, etc.) activity. In a calm voice, say that the child's behavior amounts to backtalk; this it is taking the parent's time, energy and goodwill in her efforts to deal with it; that it is not acceptable, and that they will not be doing what they planned. If the child reacted badly to this statement, the parent should proceed to step 4.
Step 4. The fourth step is to disengage from a struggle with the balktalker. If the child's bad behavior continues, the parent should calmly leave the room, leaving the child alone, thus disengage themselves from the children's struggle to have their own way.
These four steps may sound easy to implement, and for some parents they will be. But for the overindulgent parent, they will be challenging and will take lots of determination, practice, and self-control. One difficulty is that modern parents want to be good buddies with their children instead of teachers, leaders, and guides.